Advocacy and Judgment

“You Can’t Judge Me, Only God Can Judge Me” or “Don’t Judge Me” or “It’s Not My Job to Judge You”

I’ve heard these above statements quote many times in the world and in church and have pondered on it from time to time. I used to think of Matthew 7:1 right away. “Do not judge and you will not be judged”, and I’ve also recalled a verse in the New Testament about God’s judgment starting with the house of God. And also, again later when our family did a Bible study in Psalms, I came upon this verse, “Judge me, O God, and plead my cause against an ungodly nation. O deliver Me from deceitful and unjust man” (Psalms 43:1) KJV. So, several ideas have gone through my mind towards God’s judgment demonstrated as justice for His people, and God’s judgment towards our sins. Does God judge us? How does He judge us? I thought about reading when the LORD of David is portrayed as a God of vengeance, justice, and shelter. King David in the Old Testament himself also is portrayed as a man pleading with God for God to judge Him rather than be given over to the hands of men. He prayed like that when God judged Him, when God took the life of his son born of Bathsheba. He asked for mercy from God Himself rather than being handed over to men’s hands (judgment). It appears that David was familiar with and even clung to the thought of God wreaking havoc on His mortal enemies, and he needed that blessed assurance because they wanted his very life. He took consolation, I think, in God’s position to have that role, and being confident that it was God’s role – to take vengeance. Then, I tried to balance out this thought with the idea that God hates violence (Malachi 2:16) which is one of my favorite verses. The words of David are definitely something Jesus referred to also (Matthew 22:44).

So, with the idea of God’s judgment towards justice, I think I’m understanding what I needed, but I’m still learning about God’s judgment towards us.

This passage below has been enlightening to me. I’ve been learning about when Jesus had to leave the disciples, take up His cross, and die on the cross – he had this to say to console us. Even when it was Him getting the bad news, He was still thinking of us to reassure us of a new gift, all while staring death in the face: 

Jesus said: 

John 16:5 – 11 “…But now I am going to him who sent me. None of you asks me, ‘Where are you going?’ Rather, you are filled with grief because I have said these things. But very truly I tell you, it is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Advocate will not come to you; but if I go, I will send Him to you. When he comes, he will judge the world about sin and righteousness and judgment. 

9 about sin, because people do not believe in me. 

10 about righteousness, because I am going to the Father, where you can see me no longer, 

11 and about judgment, because the prince of this world now stands condemned.


The disciples had no grid for what Jesus had just said, and he just said a lot to comfort his disciples. They seemed unaware of what Jesus was about to have to do, even though He was telling them all that would take place. 

I wanted to expound some of the thoughts in these three verses, the verses pertaining to our Advocate:


John 16:9

9 “about sin, because people do not believe in me.”

About sin: The disciples were told this. I believe it was probably around the time he told the disciples they would be hated by the world, just as He was. I think that the Presence of the knowledge of sin was reintroduced when Jesus started His ministry. Sin has always been present but it seems that when Jesus attacked the teachers of the law, he spoke and rebuked them for their misuse of the law, not speaking against their using the law. Jesus came as the culmination of the law, right in front of them, in just being God’s Son. He spoke of getting to the root of the matters – Mercy, not sacrifice; wishing others well – not having pride and coldness and indifference; promoting an attitude of trust in God – not giving in to the pull of the temporal securities the world chases after. Because people did not recognize Jesus when he came, it was much less likely, I believe, that they would have been truly zealous for God in their hearts, aside from Him. Not impossible, but definitely less likely. Those who followed Him, as He was on earth, started to get glimpses of God’s Kingdom and Christ’s reign, like when Peter understood by revelation direct from God that Jesus was the Messiah. If people didn’t believe Christ when He was right in front of them (fulfilling all the prophecies pertaining to Him, by the way) doing miracles and showing the mercy of the Father, they would not believe Moses, and therefore would not have a concept of the law, sin, and grace. So, could that be a reason why He said The Advocate judged because of sin (because people did not believe in Him)? 

The job of the Advocate is to bring people back to Jesus. This Advocate word did not stand out to me before but has during this season, and not every Bible version uses it as the phrase for the Holy Spirit, the Comforter. That was an NIV NVI parallel study bible version.


John 16:10

10 “about righteousness, because I am going to the Father, where you can see me no longer, “

About Righteousness:

Jesus tries to tell the disciples, from what I gathered, that when He leaves, to be crucified, God will give them a gift. I would say He bore our unrighteousness, and in regards to righteousness, since He is with the Father, we too should be in His righteousness, until He returns again. 

“The Lord is my strength and my defense; he has become my salvation” (Psalms 118:14). 

“But seek first God’s kingdom and God’s righteousness, and all these things shall be given unto you as well” (Matthew 6:33). NIV


“And about judgment, because the prince of this world now stands condemned.” 

About Judgment

Christ purchased us! God sent Christ to atone for us, to take our condemnation, and there’s NO CONDEMNATION for those who are in Him. Though we may feel a burden of sin until we repent, and get cleansed by His blood (1 John 1:9), there’s no condemnation left anymore. 

As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame” (Romans 10:11). NIV

“For in Scripture, it says, 

“See, I lay a stone in Zion,

a chosen and precious cornerstone,

and the one who trusts in him

will never be put to shame” 

(1 Peter 2:6). NIV

Christ purchased us all, and for good reason, and His deed is complete in condemning the evil of sin, and the devil is defeated. 

So, if we are to be judged, and for righteousness’ sake, I’m glad our Advocate shows us what for, and then furthermore speaks for us when we ask.


Catholics, Protestants, and Salvation

My husband did a phenomenal job publishing a video recently – April 3, I think. And I wanted to share it because I always am intrigued to learn about the history, theory, and faith differences found between Catholics and Protestants in light of salvation.

The study of the beliefs and doctrines concerning salvation in any specific religion, as well as the study of the subject of salvation, is called “soteriology”. This is cool!

Please click on the statement, Catholics, Protestants, and Salvation – its a hyperlink 🙂

Get Rid of Some Sin! A Process of Repentance – Rebekah Boruff

Pic from

It is very important to understand that the way to get peace with God, hear back from God, and have rest in your spirit, is to repent. I don’t think that any element of Christianity is more needed, yet more forgotten. It’s not about having the correct words like a mantra, but it is so necessary to hit some key points when the process for repentance is taking place. It’s more than just saying, “Sorry, Lord,” and not giving another thought to what you’ve done, at the least – we must look at what we’ve done. You need to keep asking God for forgiveness until you’ve specifically said that you were wrong, and asking God to help you make it right. So, since I’ve sinned numerous sins, and made more mistakes than I can remember, I have learned at least how to say, “Lord, forgive me,” to the point where I can get my conscience clean. Here is some of the process of how to find moment-to-moment rest over specific and general sins. I suggest that this be done as much as needed, repenting during the day, before bed, or when you wake up, or when you get a moment to reflect. But, for your own good, I suggest that it occur as much as possible: when you honestly think you have sinned, and can find proof that whatever the sin is,that it is a sin based on the Bible, or the infringement of conscience based on personal conviction, that is reasonable and good.

1. Acknowledge God somehow, that God is your God, and the Father, and that Jesus is the Son. You must have a recollection (or realization by thinking about topic for a while) that a specific sin, as defined in the Bible, is indeed a sin. For example, if you had lied to someone and told false information, or been dishonest, you would remember where the Bible speaks against lying. You could pray like this: “Lord, I sinned when I lied because Your Word speaks against lying lips.” Mark 8:22: “(out of men’s hearts come) greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance, and folly.” Deceit is dishonesty; and so I repent of the lie in Jesus’ name.

2. Actual repentance: “Forgive me Father, by the blood of your Son, Jesus, for my lying, or dishonesty.” When you pray this, have invisible faith that your sins are forgiven, and that the blood of Jesus has washed you clean. It’s not enough to feel or believe in God, without acknowledging Him as Lord. Similarly, it’s also not enough to have conviction of sin and not ask for forgiveness. It literally takes 15 seconds to do so! If there is something you need to repent for, do it and get it over with. Acknowledging it is the hard part, and all that’s left is getting rid of it. Then it is erased forever, gone, and even if there are repercussions for the sin that can’t be avoided, in God’s eyes you are no longer accountable for it at all, because it disappeared completely off your record.

3. Now you can ask God to help you, and think for yourself also, on how to do the opposite of the wicked thing. For example, if it is a difficult sin that needs overcoming by much prayer, you can ask God to give you Holy Spirit power to overcome it. Like if you are repenting for cussing, something that you could do to prevent yourself, is stop listening to music riddled with profanity. If it is a sin, not easily overcome like lustfully looking at the opposite sex, or getting drunk with addiction to alcohol, ask God over and over if you have to–until the door of Heaven is broken, and you overcome it. Fasting can REALLY help with certain demons, and I imagine, the more powerful ones. 

Matthew 17:21, NKJV: “This kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting.”

I suggest praying something like, “I thank You God in the name of Jesus, that by Your power I’ve overcome and shown repentance by “not getting drunk on wine but being filled with the Spirit” (Eph. 2:18). Or again, “I thank You God in Jesus’ name that I’ve shown true repentance by “loving my wife” or “not looking at a woman lustfully in my heart” (Eph. 5:25; Matt. 5:28). Find a verse that states doing the opposite of the wicked thing, and pray according to that Scripture that you will do the righteous thing. We need the application of Jesus’ blood for forgiveness as we ask for it, but just as importantly, we need the power of the Holy Spirit to resist a billion temptations that will come our way in this life. So, ask for help!

Here are some examples:

1. The Sin of Gluttony. Repent of gluttony as it is mentioned in the Bible.

Ezekiel 16:49: “Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy.”

Proverbs 23:2: “Put a knife to your throat (figurative) if you are given to gluttony.”

Ask God to forgive you by the blood of Jesus. Pray, “I ask You God in Jesus’ name that by your Spirit You will help me prove true repentance by…

…practicing the fruit of the self-control as a fruit of the Spirit” (Galatians 5:22-23).

…taking care of my body as a temple of the Holy Spirit” (1 Corinthians 6:19).

…acknowledging that my stomach is not my god” (Philippians 3:19).                      

The verse references are put into the form of Scriptural prayers. I don’t think God requires us, per se, to use Bible verses when we pray, but do what you think is right. 

2. The Sin of Pride. Repent, in Jesus’ name, of being prideful, unyielding to God, and stubborn, in the way that pride is mentioned in the Bible.

Ask God to forgive you by Jesus’ blood for the specific sin of pride. Pray, “I ask You God, in Jesus’ name, that by Your Spirit, You’ve helped me to prove truly repentant by…

…submitting myself to God, and resisting the devil, so that he will flee” (James 4:7).

…not being proud, but humble, to find favor with God” (James 4:6).

…humbling myself before the Lord, so that He will lift me up” (James 4:10).

So, it’s easy. Acknowledge that you are guilty. Repent of specific sins in Jesus’ name. Pray according to the righteousness available to us, by grace in Jesus, as it is shown in the Bible. 

These are examples of sins that easily beset us or hinder us from going forward. There are so many sins in the world and so many demons, real literal demons, like the bible talks about. Ask God for wisdom every day that you can and regularly reflect on your actions, thoughts, words, dreams, etc. to see if you are in the wrong or in the right. God will bless you in this and give you continuing revelation. Don’t be so preoccupied with a list of sins, so that you feel like if you forget something, then you’ll be sent to Hell, because the grace of God and the blood of Jesus is much bigger than that; and we have no need to be that anxious. The Lord will even remind you of what you need to hear, to get yourself clean and flowing in His Spirit, with goodness and light all around you. 

Here are some good verses that help with acknowledging sin, repenting of sin, and overcoming sins by His blood. 

Hebrews 12:1: “Since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”

John 16:8: “And when He (the Holy Spirit) is come, He will reprove the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment.”

Hebrews 10:26: “If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left.”

1 John 1:9: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

1 John 3:4: “Whoever commits sin transgresses also the law: for sin is the transgression of the law.”

Psalms 32:5: “I acknowledged my sin to You, and my iniquity I did not hide; I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord’; and You forgave the guilt of my sin.”

Psalm 139:24: “See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

1 Corinthians 11:31-32: “If we judged ourselves rightly, we would not be judged. But when we are judged, we are disciplined by the Lord so that we will not be condemned along with the world.”

Jesus still saves! That’s good news! He can make us live free if we will be honest and accept forgiveness, by confessing our sins and our need of His holy help!

So, Nobody’s Perfect, Right? – Rebekah Boruff

There are some dangerous pretensions (or arguments) that I have had to overcome in my walk with the Lord. The Bible tells us that we wage against dark powers, against the devil, against the spiritual forces of evil. We are taught and reminded in 2 Corinthians 10:5: “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” The pretensions that have come at times to bombard my mind; and the minds of other Christians everywhere in the Church are:

1. Trying Harder Means I Will Be Spiritually Prideful. “If I make a harder effort to be in perfect standing with the Lord, then I’ll probably look down on others in a pious or ‘I’m-super-righteous’ attitude.” That is a total lie. The deception that being righteous automatically equals being proud is backward and false. When I look at God the Father, Himself, I see the most upright, creative, good, and just God. But He is such a gentleman that not even He will force Himself or His will upon a person. If He were truly proud and arrogant, He would not let us make our own choices so we could learn like children the consequences of our choice. He is similar to us in that. He is humble enough to ask us to seek Him, ask Him to be our Lord, and dwell in our spirits. So also, we see that Jesus, who was as meek and mild as a Lamb; and yet was so righteous, blameless, and without sin. The Almighty Lord Jesus, the same one, who is to come on the clouds with a holy army of angels, and cast down the dragon into the pit, and rid the Earth of sin once and for all. He is the very same Lord who came to Jairus’ daughter and healed her, and then mildly asked everyone to keep the healing a secret. That doesn’t sound so proud to me. We learn humility probably best by being humiliated (for Christ), but it can be learned! If there is a righteousness of God to seek in an area of life, then we are commanded to seek it, hunger after it, and thirst after it.

Matthew 6:33: “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.”

Matthew 5:6: “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.”

When Jesus said, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness,” that verse was written for sooooo much more than our first belief in Jesus as Lord. When we are first justified, saved from Hell and sin by Jesus’ sacrifice for us, that is our first decision towards righteousness; but now Jesus is telling us to take our sustenance from His righteousness. If we are hungering and thirsting in our spirits, like our bodies do in the natural, it sounds to me like our spirits have to be kept alive through a diet of righteousness, not a one-time deal, but daily rationing. All of this making the Christian life much LESS boring

2. Well…Nobody’s Perfect. This in regards to a person blowing it, or failing, or falling short of the mark. That’s a nice thought and all, and does have an appropriate place sometimes; but I’ve wondered just how many times this “tolerance” idea has been used as an excuse to excuse oneself from obeying what they know to be right, producing apathy, complacency, etc. Yes, it is true, no matter how “good” we are doing with the Lord, at the end of the day we all still need Jesus’ blood to cover us, just the same to get into Heaven. But we are also judged according to our deeds on Judgment Day, and in this life too. “I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve” (Jeremiah 17:10).

Luke 23:41: “We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.”

Hebrews 9:27: “Just as people are destined to die once, and after that to face judgment.”

This concept is stated many times in the Old AND New Testaments.

Revelation 20:12: “I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the book of life. The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books.”

If the thought ever remained, “Oh, it’s okay to sin, because God is just going to forgive me automatically,” we’ve already lost the battle in the fight against sin. If we continue on that path, we will also lose our souls. Jesus combats that way of thinking when He says, “Be perfect, therefore, as your Heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48). In another place, 2 Corinthians 7:1, we are encouraged to develop holiness: “Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.” There are many other Scriptures about becoming perfect and the process of perfection in Christ. Many are the passages that speak to us about having a whole lot of righteousness, not of ourselves, but of our good works. Our robes are to be without spot, our hearts fervent, and our motives correct. Sadly, many are thinking at this late hour in the church, that grace is a license for sin, that grace is a means to lawlessness. Paul said that those who felt so deserved fully their own condemnation. Grace should always lead us into righteousness.

Titus 2:11-14: “The grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for Himself a people that are His very own, eager to do what is good.”

In Matthew 7:21, the Lord says, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of Heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in Heaven.” When an antinomian (anti-law) notion sets in, which can often occur if we aren’t vigilant, we may think we can purposely disobey God’s laws. This is not the intention of heart that Jesus died for! Jesus died for the removal of our sins; a daily removal. If we are so bold to think that God is too forgiving to care, God scoffs at us. If the Son of God is willing to forgive, and of course He is, it would be safe to say that God honors true repentance. Hebrews 6 speaks of a falling away where we can become hardened, and can’t come back to repentance; it is impossible for those “who have fallen away, to be brought back to repentance. To their loss, they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting Him to public disgrace” (Heb. 6:6). It is good to desire to always be able to come back to repentance! If we go from having Christ in our hearts to excusing, justifying, or even condoning our sins, we can become darkened in our consciences, and have a self-righteousness that is much more rude and vicious than a non-Christian. You’ll see that in practicing Pharisees.

So, where the understanding may be that “we are not under law any longer” is present in Christian circles, we are still not excused from obeying the law that is to be written on our hearts. “They show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness” (Romans 2:15). Our sins will be revealed to our consciences over time for our subjective convictions. The rules of the New Testament for holy living are still obligations to us by the Spirit; and also the teachings of Jesus should be what a Jesus follower are bound to. The concept of “not being under the law” anymore, because of the blood Jesus, as best as I can tell, applies to ceremonial laws from the Old Testament, and the traditions of men that don’t come from God.

Hebrews 8:13: “By calling this covenant ‘new,’ He has made the first one obsolete; and what is obsolete and outdated will soon disappear.”

Colossians 2:14: “Having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; He has taken it away, nailing it to the cross.”

Jesus does INDEED do away with all that as He becomes our full salvation!

All of this is given to us for edification, exhortation (rebuking), comfort, and encouragement. We MUST be strong like our Lord was strong. We MUST brace ourselves and fight like soldiers, because the world will see the difference. Then they will see the light. As we proclaim the name of Jesus and walk uprightly, some will be saved! Finally:

Hebrews 12:2: “Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before Him He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Stay In Your Lane – Rebekah Boruff


Stay in Your Lane

When a believer starts to make some ground in prayer, one of the first obstacles that there is to overcome pride inwardly. There is a great drive for people of prayer to want to find appreciation in the fact that have gotten somewhere in prayer. However, a deeper dive into prayer is what they need at that time. True it is, that when you have prayed in secret, the Lord can and will reward you openly. But that reward is supposed to be like a pat on the back, a thumbs up, and a boost to “get back to work”. Lol. The Lord knows that the deepest of treasures is found in the knowledge of Himself and of yourself in Himself. In the family of Christ, we will see ourselves and our good qualities (and bad qualities) reflected or shown when we are together. There may be a comment or a prophetic word, a word spoken like a word of knowledge in prayer, a coincidence shared by a friend that you had need of hearing, a comment made about a memory that tied you to being with another person, etc. It takes a long time to cultivate humility, years and years, and miles and miles talking to Jesus, and the greatest threat to keeping humility is self-praise. The devil thrives on pride and having his pat on the backs continually. The devil was thrown out of his place in Heaven because of discontent and now wanting God to have all the glory. So, it is a sure thing, that if we can tackle the beast of pride as Christians, it will keep us in Heaven’s view, keep us out of trouble, keep us in His joy, and keep our soul. “For they loved human praise more than praise from God.” John 12:43 This is because all the devil’s glory is on this earth and in heavenly reams with spiritual battles. Sure, the devil gets a mere 6000 years of glory on this crooked earth, but when the Lord returns that 6000 years will look like a spec of dust compared to Jesus’ eternal reign. The Lord’s people are to be as meek as a lamb, as mild as a babe in a manger, as lowly as a persecuted and blistered Lord. If we get back to that state of humiliation, of being childlike in truth, of relying on the Lord in the face of all our fears, we will have His mantle of revelation to guide us in all our ways. When we have made it to a height in prayer, it will take more prayer to get back into prayer, and more prayer to pray after that, and more prayer to stay humble. The Lord’s river does not ever run dry but flows from the throne of God living and full and rich and plenty-to-go-round for all. The insidious demons of pride stand at the door as you try to enter the gate to a new wavelength with the Lord. The demon of pride also is seen quite frequently with other demons of conceit, insincerity, and deception, which is dishonesty. A great feat it is to be able to “stay in your own lane” while in prayer. When you are around others is when you are tested the most, because pride feeds on the presence of others. Not many people struggle near as much with patting themselves on the back time after time when they are alone, I don’t think. When you are praying around others or not, don’t “look up” from where you are in prayer so that others can “see” you. There are several teachings of Jesus about doing things privately: giving prayer in private, giving to others in secret, and the mysteries of God taught by Jesus are even referred to as “secrets” told in privacy, another theme of a humble gospel. What I mean is, don’t check to see if others can see what such a great job you are doing in the Lord. Don’t be distracted from the Lord in prayer by checking to see if anyone can see how holy you are. And especially if it does happen, don’t ever let it continue. Just acknowledge privately that you were prideful, because if the spirit of pride proceeds a thought-no matter how holy- it has no firm foundation to stand.  It doesn’t matter if anyone ever sees you because our connection is to be to God and His Spirit. Up and up and up. Stay in your own lane and keep your eyes on your own prize. Mind your own business and you’ll be good to go! 1 Thessalonians 4:11a “Stay calm; mind your own business; do your own job.” MSG version

How I Knew I was Saved when I was Saved – Born Again Experience


I had realized the other night when talking with John that there are several ways in which I knew for sure that I was born again in 2005, when the event occurred, and though it occurred during a season, I had several different factors that made me totally sure of my salvation having occurred then. The several main reasons that I found to be the indicators were:

  1. I heard an eternal call what John (husband) calls a “saving call” where I could see that Jesus alone was the Lord and – could then hear from the Lord as my own Lord.”Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ.” Romans 10:17  Before hearing a word deep in my spirit, which is something mysterious and supernatural I can’t adequately explain (but will try), I always seemed to see God from afar off, like when I would try to pray to sing to the Lord, I didn’t seem to understand or grasp what I was saying to Him, and especially not hearing anything back. Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ. Romans 10:17 I had had it told to me a million times the story of Jesus on the cross, but faith had not been initiated in me, that is real faith that could be felt. I heard an eternal word through Jim Nesbit and the Lord had started dealing with me personally through the end of 2004 and beginning of 2005. No longer was Jesus someone who was far away, but I could actually within myself see that Jesus the Lord was the real Lord, the Lord of all things. I could hear from Heaven so clear as if there had been a trumpet to alarm me to war. I could not discern Jesus before but once realizing His grace to me, I felt such joy that I hadn’t experienced ever before! My spiritual eyes were opened, and my understanding was enlightened. There was a feeling of completion, a feeling like I had finally arrived to a point where I could find God and realize that He was right there for me. Mark 4:9  9 Then Jesus said, “Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.”
  2. Jesus is the Christ – I realized that when I got born again, I felt like I could see Jesus as actually being my Lord. Not just in the general belief sense like I believe that He existed, but in the sense of Him being the King, the pinnacle of all things, and the achieved peace of my soul! I remember when people would ask me over the year about salvation, or when I found myself talking to them about it, I would say out loud something that just came out of my spirit, and that was one of the indicators to me that I knew Jesus was God. I actually had an inkling in myself that I needed to share my testimony with everyone that I could. This impulse was something that no one told me to do, it must have been put there by God by His deposited Holy Spirit. I had not ever felt an impulse as such that I knew was put there by God. No one gave me the idea to tell the entire college campus through their emails that I had found Jesus. I just knew I had to do it, because I felt compelled. I had not seen anyone do that before, so I don’t think it would have come in my mind any other way but by revelation and conviction from God himself.
  3. Thoughts of a man’ spirit within Him – I Corinthians 2:11 “For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God.” When I found Christ in 2005, or when He rather found me, I started to be able to find Him i my thoughts and also I found that I could realize what I was thinking. For 18/19 years I had been so blind to the thoughts of my heart, not 100% – but for the most part. There were a few times where I can look back to my years growing up and see where conviction was playing a part. I would know that I should or shouldn’t do something because of a social, morality understanding of right and wrong (growing up prior to college) and others telling me, but I started to see within myself upon turning 19 that my heart had bad feelings, thoughts, and sins coming out of it. I also saw that there were things in my heart that were revealed in prophecies that were secrets laid bare that helped me to understand who I was, what God wanted, why I did the things I did, etc. Prophecy is all about knowing the thoughts, the future, and the secrets, and symbolisms, etc. Karrie Frith prophesied over me some things that God alone would know, and afterwards, she could not remember any of the things she had said, which was a sign to me that could couldn’t have made it up even if she wanted to.

When I realized more about the thoughts within myself, and put them alongside Scripture to see what was right, I found that God was definitely more interested and involved with me that I ever realized before. Like I said before, I had seen things peripherally for years and years, always wanting to be “in “ with God, but never realizing He was there all along, it was just my understanding that needed changing. When I would open the Bible, which happened to be so much more often because I had a craving desire to learn from God, the Words on the page were like what I could see as coming straight from Heaven, meant for me – Rebekah Lucas, at that time. I had been to so many services, church trips, conferences, youth camps, but I was so distracted by things around Jesus and the Bible that I never got still enough to realize how near God could be. I’m sure there are people mad at me for not ever vocally reconciling what had happened to me prior to college, compared with my “new found testimony”, and I should have had the sense to communicate it, but I didn’t and for that I am sorry. I have thought about it several times sense, and feel that all that I had experienced prior to be 18 and 19 was preparing me for new birth, some theme of prevenient grace or something. I had even had some experiences of crying out to God from the base of my spirit, but then days later would be found in my idolatries again. Upon really being born again, I saw that I had to be born again to see the kingdom of God. Born from Heaven above. Not saying a prayer, signing a card, telling having someone else counsel me, but having a spiritual birth just like 19 years earlier, I had a physical one. The born again experience: “But what does it say? “The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart,” that is, the message concerning faith that we proclaim:” Romans 10:8 I was born from above, and thus so, conflicted with what many others believed or did NOT believe in.

4. Seeds along the path – When I thought I was saved before, I remember the word of God not getting very far in me. I had the “worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth, and the desire for other things” clouding my view and blocking me from getting further. I mainly majored in the “worries of this life” and the “desires for other things” part. Mark 4:19. I had so much concern from what others thought of me and I remember this from like 8 or 9 years old and upward. I also wanted other things, popularity, social status, softball, to prove myself to others in sports or music or anything but God, etc. I had had a general and goodly desire for God, but never realized just how pertinent it was that I really heeded and paid attention more closely to what God was saying. I also seemed to have very little “root” in what Jesus was saying and what the BIble was saying. Mark 4:6.6 “But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root.”  I had not let the Word of God take root in me as it seemed to do in Regina and others around me when I was younger. I wanted to have God but I wanted to have all my stuff too for my whole upbringing, but God wanted me to have ALL things in HIs Son Christ Jesus instead of everything else. I realize looking back that there were many many times the Lord Jesus grabbed my attention, but every time I got distracted by a million other things the moment I walked out of the church door. I was convicted of sin and “saved” a million times, so called, but then I became idolatrous, distracted, worried about what others thought, desiring of other things besides God whether it be reputation, some random desires, or a guy, or just selfishness. So, the story of the sower and the seed hits home in clarity that though Jesus would call to us as many times as He has patience for, if we don’t let the word take root it doesn’t matter how many respond half-heartedly, we must get the Word in deep to the core to hear eternity.

5. Blind, but then I saw – light versus dark – When the light shone on my heart and my eyes were opened, I had the clear picture of what sin was versus what righteousness was. I was blessed to have grown up with Scriptures around me in church and influence, but when my spiritual eyes were opened, I could see the day from the night, the dark from the light, and the wrong from the right. Just as the man who was born blind was healed said, I was blind, but now I see. See, beforehand, I had some small amount of understanding that kept me from getting drunk, having sex before marriage, using profanity, – basic general requirements of morality, but when I was born again, I had a new idea of righteousness not only being the above things, but now the right living would be birthed from my heart and then influencing my actions. Instead of living by righteousness outside-in, I found righteousness inside-out. In the chapter of John 9, I find myself similar to the man born blind. I was born in darkness in my sins, and it was like Jesus had put mud on my eyes, and then healed my sight, my spiritual sight. The church leaders were convinced that the man who converted me was a sinner and persecuted him and made sure he was thrown out. But, nonetheless, they could not tell me that I could not see with spiritual eyes. I was blind, but now I see! – just like this man born blind. And, yes, I do believe that the man who was responsible for healing me is a prophet.