Early Beginnings – 2005 😄

1/22/23 🫶In 2005, when I was 19 years old, I was born again into a spiritual kingdom. I was set aflame immediately to share it (the “Good News”) with the world, and felt compelled to. I wanted the good news that Christ took my place to meet God’s anger, and that He was pleased with me, to register with others like it had for me. I had heard this such message in very many words and presentations prior, countless even, but for me, I needed a living demonstration of the spirit’s power (1 Corinthians 2:4 NIV), in a place that wasn’t familiar, for me to really “get it”. This I did receive, and “heard” with spiritual ears, from the testimony of some of God’s servants, who also heard from the Lord Himself and could be confident in that, even in their finite perceptions. And how pure and gold it was for me to be able to see Jesus then, that is, to see Him start to teach me, Rebekah, my own self, from the Scriptures! (Recently, I was reminded that God was with me from even then, and that I needed to remember that). – Oh, how much grace He has shown! 🥰

I was often speaking of Jesus, and I could not get enough of Him. How that first-love-fire did burn 🔥(Revelation 2:4)! Thanks to a family on campus, and several good friends in the Lord and friends coming to know the Lord at that same season, and my twin of course, I began to know what a picture of Jesus-life could be illustrated as! Green pastures!

“That which was from the beginning, which we have hard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched, this we proclaim concerning the Word of Life” (1 John 1:1). 🍞

📖 I spent time alone reading the bible, and other times when I was around Jesus’ people, who were not tied to preaching to please an organization, but who could speak plainly for the Lord, I got a very pure picture of something that I wanted for myself and for my future. I was not anti-organization, but I did get into a lot of trouble being zealous, and was convinced more every day that the kingdom of God was spiritual and something that man could not control rightly, but that only the Holy Spirit working with man could. This was a BIG deal because of the church atmosphere that I had known prior. And my problem was not with the structure, but more with the sins and questionable practices I was seeing more and more 🎚 of. As I read the Bible, too, tried to ask honest questions. Initially, it was really beneficial to read the words of Jesus over again, especially the red words, and also I listened to books of the Bible on audio cd when I would lay down. I am really thankful that I grew up in a community who appreciated reading the Bible. Those words from the Scriptures, when I listened audibly especially, brought healing to my soul. When I could steal away, I would, and with my heart having been full from loving the Lord with all of it a given day, I would often “cry on his shoulder”, and tell the Lord about it all. When I went alone to a small chapel on campus, I started having such strong emotions of sorrow for sin and praying for others, that I would let myself groan, since no one was around. Pretty soon, I was speaking in tongues, and having “taught” myself, if that can be done, used that in my prayers (1 Timothy 4:7B).

🧡 My heart found its home in Jesus, and I would be contemplating a Scripture or meditating on ideas when I had the chance. The things I remember thinking on were the Scriptures Old and New Testament, using the study notes and verse references to jump from one passage to another, and highlighting and enjoying that, thinking hard through ideas until my conscience was totally settled about whatever the issue was: whether it was the thought of how to pay tithes (Matthew 23), what are “Gifts of the Spirit”, and how to speak in tongues (1 Corinthians 12), or what benefits come from knowing God’s people, and how to apologize to the Lord if I was in error (experience in relationships!) My emotions were healed when I was alone with the Lord, and that was special. My favorite thing to do was to sing praises to God, alone or in a choir we sang in for the school, and often I could not finish a song, because my heart was so full, I could mostly cry and hum. The fact that I did grow up in a pentecostal environment/church city that believed in the gift of the Holy Spirit – speaking in tongues (speaking with different languages to God by the Holy Spirit and by angels), didn’t hurt me at all!

I didn’t slow down, and it got a lot of people’s attention – for good and for bad, but I hoped for good, really, that my walk with Jesus would be a good, if not accurate presentation. Sad times were there, misunderstandings, misinterpretations of why I did the things I did, but not once did the Lord put me to shame. (And Jesus still hasn’t to this very day!)

“As Scripture says, ‘Anyone who believes in Him’, shall never be put to shame.” (Romans 10:11 NIV)

Closing thoughts:

I find that often I am writing about things going on now, things I’m learning now, asking questions about “the here and now”, and forgetting those good old times, forgetting how innocent the love of Jesus is, and how sweet and good He is. Its very important to be able to articulate, to remember first beginnings, especially for faith issues, because faith deals with our thoughts, communications, expressions, feelings, actions, and other things. To be able to communicate effectively what you believe, why, or even how you got there, can help a lot of people.

Ask me sometime, and I will stumble through telling you about my Lord Jesus. Then I’d like to hear your side, too.